1. My child does not sleep for more than four hours straight. Or maybe he does? I don’t know. I am not counting.
2. I am not stressed out by #1.
3. I will not ask you (or any “baby sleep experts”) to help me “train” my child to know that his needs are not important to me after 7:30 pm or during scheduled nap times.
4. My child sleeps in my bed with myself and my husband.
5. My husband and I love #4.
6. My child nurses when he falls asleep, when he wakes up, when he gets hurt/scared/frustrated, and any other time he expresses that he needs to.
7. I will allow my child to nurse until he decides that he no longer needs to.
8. I prioritize my child’s need to nurse anytime, anywhere over your desire to live in denial that breasts were designed to feed babies and young children.
9. I am much more concerned with allowing my child to freely explore his child-safe surroundings than I am teaching him the meaning of the word “no.”
10. I will not teach my child to blindly obey you, simply because you are an adult. Pharaoh, Lot’s Wife, and Jezebel were adults too.
11. I will never flick, slap, hit, or otherwise inflict physical pain purposefully on my child.
12. I will teach my child that flicking, slapping, hitting, or otherwise inflicting physical pain on those who are smaller, weaker is not Christ-like in any and every circumstance.
13. My child is not a “good baby.” He sometimes cries when I leave him and always seeks immediate contact with me when I return. I am very thankful about this “inconvenient” reality. It is indicative of a secure attachment, whereas a “good baby” can be indicative of an insecure attachment.
14. I incorporate research into my parenting choices, as well as the Word. You might find this wrong, but please keep in mind that I do not judge your incorporation of science into your medical choices.
15. I will teach my child that his penis is a wonderful gift from God. I will not shame him for touching a part of himself that society wants him to consider “dirty.”
16. I will never send my child away from me – to a corner, to his room – when he has made a wrong choice.
17. I extend grace to my child when he has made a wrong choice just like the Lord extends grace to me.
18. I do not miss your approval of me enough to change #1-17.